I said today I want to talk about daydreaming and how it ruined my life and how I overcame it. so daydreaming used to be something that ruined my life. It was, for example, I'd be getting ready to go somewhere.
我说过今天我想谈谈做白日梦以及它是如何毁了我的生活，以及我是如何克服它的。所以做白日梦曾经是毁了我生活的事情。比如说，我正准备去某个地方。
It would take me, it takes maybe 20 minutes to get ready. Put on your clothes, pack your bags, get all your stuff, your wallet, whatever it is. I'd put on my clothes. I'd have a shower.
我需要，可能需要20分钟来准备。穿上衣服，收拾行李，拿上所有东西，你的钱包，不管是什么。我会穿上衣服。我会洗个澡。
I'd come back to my room and I wouldn't know what to do next. Like, do I take my bag? Do I take my clothes? So instead of deciding what to do next, I would sit on my chair. I would literally just stare at my floor and I just get lost in fantasy for like 20 minutes and I'm and I'd be like, "Oh, wait.
我会回到房间，却不知道接下来该做什么。比如，我要拿包吗？我要拿我的衣服吗？所以与其决定下一步做什么，我会坐在椅子上。我真的就只是盯着我的地板然后我就沉浸在幻想中大概20分钟然后我，然后我会想，“哦，等等。
I got to get ready." And I'd get up again and I'd continue getting ready. Or, for example, showers would take me forever because I'd just be standing there just in fantasy, just in daydreams all the time.
我得准备好。然后我会再次站起来，继续做准备。或者，比如说，洗澡会花我很长时间因为我只是站在那里幻想，一直沉浸在白日梦里。
My friends knew me as the person who would take a few bites of his food and then just start contemplating life. Like I literally would just stare into the distance while I was socializing with people because my daydreams just always sucked me in at random times.
我的朋友们都知道我是那种吃几口饭就开始思考人生的人。就像我真的会只是凝视着远方当我在与人社交的时候因为我的白日梦总是把我吸进去在随机的时间。
Another thing, final thing, I could not watch movies. Like I couldn't pay attention to movies. I couldn't pay attention in class because I just get lost in my fantasies. So daydreams, safe to say, ruined my life.
另一件事，最后一件事，我没法看电影。就像我无法专注于电影。我上课无法集中注意力因为我总是沉浸在自己的幻想中。所以可以说，白日梦毁了我的生活。
The biggest thing about daydreams for me is they were always fantasies. They were always very pleasant experiences. For example, I'd have a conversation with a girl in my class, let's say, for example, and it would end awkwardly.
对我来说，白日梦最大的问题是它们总是幻想。它们总是非常愉快的经历。比如说，我会和班上的一个女孩聊天，比方说，举个例子，然后对话会尴尬地结束。
Maybe she'd ask me a question. I wouldn't know what to say. It would be awkward silence. I'd go home and I'd be very frustrated about that. I'd be like, "Man, why did I I what happened?
也许她会问我一个问题。我不知道该说什么。那会是尴尬的沉默。我会回家，而且我会对此感到非常沮丧。我会想，"天哪，我为什么要——我当时怎么了？
I I could have said this. I could have said this." So later on in the shower, I would literally be replaying what I could have said. I'd be dreaming about I could have said this, I could have said this, this conversation could have happened.
我——我本可以说这个的。我本可以说这个的。"所以后来在淋浴的时候，我真的会反复回放我本可以说的话。我会幻想我本可以说这句话，我本可以说这句话，这场对话本可以发生。
And it would take hours of my energy, my time, which could have been spent towards my goals just in pure fantasy, which by the way, when I went back tomorrow to talk to her again, did not become reality.
而这会耗费我数小时的精力，我的时间，本可以用于我的目标仅仅是在纯粹的幻想中，顺便说一句，当我明天回去再和她交谈时，并没有成为现实。
So for those of you thinking like you're manifesting or something this my fantasies never became reality. Like I would fantasize about my goals about all these things I want to achieve impressing everybody being the best.
所以对于那些认为自己在显化的人或者其他什么，我的幻想从未成为现实。就像我会幻想我的目标关于所有我想实现的事情，让所有人印象深刻，成为最棒的。
It never became reality. So it's safe to say daydreaming ruined my life. It took a ton of my time, a ton of my energy and I couldn't control it because how can you control your mind?
它从未成为现实。所以可以肯定地说，白日梦毁了我的人生。它占据了我大量的时间，大量的精力，而且我无法控制它，因为你怎能控制自己的思想呢？
At least your phone addiction to an extent. You can get rid of your phone, right? You can't get rid of your mind. So, how how to overcome this? That was my question. So, my journey began looking online for advice.
至少你的手机成瘾在一定程度上是可以控制的。你可以摆脱你的手机，对吧？你无法摆脱你的思想。那么，如何如何克服这一点呢？那是我的问题。于是，我的旅程从在网上寻找建议开始。
And if you go search right now online, how to overcome daydreaming. It says stuff like daydreaming is good for you because it it it fuels your creativity. It's productive. All this stuff.
如果你现在上网搜索，如何克服白日梦。上面说做白日梦对你有好处因为它能激发你的创造力。这很有成效。诸如此类的东西。
So, I hated the advice online. Nothing helped me. My real journey to overcome daydreaming began with meditation. So, this is going to help you by the way. meditation I started doing in 2021.
所以，我讨厌网上的建议。什么都帮不了我。我克服白日梦的真正旅程始于冥想。所以，顺便说一下，这会对你有所帮助。我在2021年开始做的冥想。
I first started doing meditation and I noticed something. I noticed that it was insanely difficult to meditate. I would close my eyes. I would set a timer for 3 minutes. Like I remember my first meditation session.
我刚开始做冥想时，我注意到了一些事情。我注意到冥想极其困难。我会闭上眼睛。我会设置一个3分钟的计时器。就像我记得我的第一次冥想体验。
I set a timer for 3 minutes. I closed my eyes and within 30 seconds I couldn't deal with it anymore. I opened my eyes. I literally stood up. I didn't meditate again for a week. And that process kept repeating because I could not stop my thoughts.
我设了一个3分钟的计时器。我闭上眼睛结果30秒内我就再也受不了了。我睁开了眼睛。我实实在在地站了起来。之后一周我都没有再冥想。这个过程不断重复因为我无法停止思考。
Now if you know about meditation, you know that that's not the goal. But this was my process. I was just so many I was always in my head. This is the key thing. I was always in my head.
如果你了解冥想，你就知道那不是目标。但这就是我的过程。我当时想得太多了，总是沉浸在自己的思绪里。这是关键所在。我总是沉浸在自己的思绪里。
And so meditation really exposed that for me. It really exposed just how dense my thinking was. I was such a dense thinker. In social conversations, you could tell like if you were if you were talking to me, you could tell that I was just deep in thought while talking with you.
所以冥想真的让我看清了这一点。它真的让我看清了我的思维有多么密集。我当时的思维非常密集。在社交对话中，你能看出来，就像如果你在跟我说话，你能看出来我只是在沉思一边和你说话。
I was just not present. Anyway, how does this relate to daydreaming? So, I started meditating. And when you meditate, you observe your daydreams, right? When I really started taking meditation very very seriously was about two years ago.
我只是心不在焉。总之，这和做白日梦有什么关系？于是，我开始冥想。当你冥想时，你会观察自己的白日梦，对吧？当我真正开始非常非常认真地对待冥想时大约是在两年前。
I started doing what's called vapasa meditation. And this is going to be relevant for you, but basically since then I've done about 1,500 hours of meditation, almost about two hours a day.
我开始做所谓的vapasa冥想。而这将与你们息息相关，但基本上从那时起我已经做了大约1500小时的冥想，差不多每天两小时。
So I like this changed my life. I did so many hours of sitting there, eyes closed, observing your thoughts, observing what's going on inside your body. So it's safe to say I've spent a lot of time actually observing, studying, daydreaming in my own firsterson experience.
所以我觉得这改变了我的生活。我花了那么多小时坐在那里，闭着眼睛，观察你的思绪，观察你体内正在发生的一切。所以可以肯定地说，我花了很多时间在真正地观察，研究，在我自己的第一人称体验中做白日梦。
And here's what I've concluded. Here's what I found was the root of my daydreaming. And here's how I destroyed that root to actually overcome it. So, I spent a lot of time daydreaming and a lot of time meditating.
以下是我的结论。以下是我发现的做白日梦的根源。以下是我如何摧毁这个根源，从而真正克服它的。所以，我花了很多时间做白日梦，也花了很多时间冥想。
And this is what I noticed about my daydreaming. Whenever I would get a very, very pleasant daydreaming, a very very pleasant fantasy, it would come along with a very pleasant feeling.
这就是我对我的白日梦所注意到的事情。每当我做一个非常、非常愉快的白日梦时，一个非常非常愉快的幻想，它都会伴随着一种非常愉快的感觉。
What I mean by that is I mean a literal feeling somewhere in my body very very pleasant. So for example for me it was in my head. I felt this like light sensation in my head. Another place was my chest a light feeling in my chest or my stomach a nice feeling in my stomach.
我的意思是我指的是我身体某处的真实感觉非常非常愉快。所以对我来说，它就在我的脑海里。我感觉到头部有一种轻微的感觉。另一个部位是我的胸部，胸部有一种轻微的感觉或者我的胃部，胃部有一种舒服的感觉。
Either way, what I started to notice was when I had these thoughts of daydreaming, all these like imaginations, I also started having very pleasant feelings in my body. This is the first thing I noticed and this is relevant.
不管怎样，我开始注意到当我有这些做白日梦的念头时，所有这些像是想象的东西，我也开始在我的身体里感受到非常愉悦的感觉。这是我注意到的第一件事，而这很相关。
The reason this is relevant is because basically vapa meditation is based on the teachings of a guy called Essen Goena which is actually based on the teachings of the Buddha. So, the Buddha was a guy who lived 2,500 years ago.
这相关的原因是因为基本上vapa冥想是基于一个叫Essen Goena的人的教导，而这实际上是基于佛陀的教导。所以，佛陀是生活在2500年前的一个人。
Whether you believe about his teachings or not, it doesn't matter. I'm not going to go into it in this video. But a lot of his advice is very, very practical. And there's one piece of advice that he gave that's very relevant to this that honestly probably the most life-changing piece of advice I've ever heard in my entire life.
无论你是否相信他的教义，都不重要。我不会在这个视频里深入探讨它。但他的很多建议都非常非常实用。他给过一条建议非常相关对此，说实话，大概是有史以来最能改变人生的一条建议我这辈子听过的最能改变人生的建议。
Most life-changing insight, we could say. So his extremely life-changing insight was there's actually multiple layers to our mind to reality. So this is a huge oversimplification by the way.
可以说，是最能改变人生的见解。所以他极具颠覆性的洞见是，实际上存在多个层层递进的心智到现实的层次。顺便说一下，这是极度简化的说法。
But at the surface level is thoughts. So these are like the fantasies our daydreams. But this is just the surface level. At the deeper level is actually feelings. Feelings. you could call them emotions maybe.
但在表层是思想。所以这些就像我们白日梦中的幻想。但这只是表面层面。更深层次上其实是感受。感觉。你也许可以称之为情绪。
Although that's kind of a loaded word or sensations, whatever you want to call it. This is actually the real level. What I mean by that is when we daydream, we think that we're reacting to our thoughts.
虽然那算是个含义丰富的词，或者说是感受，随你怎么称呼它。这其实是真实的层面。我的意思是，当我们做白日梦时，我们以为自己是在对想法做出反应。
We think that we're like, "Oh yeah, I love this fantasy. I'm imagining this scenario, this scenario." The thoughts are just the external circumstance. The real thing we're reacting to according to his advice and according to what I've noticed through meditation is we're actually reacting to the feeling in our body.
我们以为自己在说：“哦对，我喜欢这个幻想。我在想象这个场景，这个场景。那些想法只是外部环境。根据他的建议，我们真正反应的对象以及根据我在冥想中注意到的实际上我们是在对身体的感受做出反应。
So maybe you've heard this this thing that procrastination is not you reacting to a task. It's actually you avoiding a feeling, an uncomfortable Daydreaming is the same. You're not actually reacting to the thoughts.
所以也许你听过这个说法拖延并不是你对一项任务的反应。实际上是你自己在逃避一种感受，一种不舒服的白日梦也是一样。你实际上并不是在对这些想法做出反应。
You're not reacting to the fantasies. you're actually reacting to the pleasant feeling that those thoughts generate in your body. So, this starts to this started to explain to me why daydreaming literally felt like crack cocaine.
你并不是在对这些幻想做出反应。你实际上是在对那种愉悦的感觉做出反应那些念头在你身体里产生的那种感觉。所以，这开始，这开始向我解释为什么做白日梦简直就像吸可卡因一样。
Why could I literally sit there and like a crack addict, I would be sitting there daydreaming. I'd be imagining these scenarios that I knew weren't going to happen. I'd know that I'm wasting my time.
为什么我真的能坐在那里，就像一个瘾君子，我会坐在那里做白日梦。我会想象这些情景我知道这些情景不会发生。我知道自己在浪费时间。
I'd know that I had limited time to leave my house, but I couldn't stop myself. I wanted to finish the daydream. I'd keep going back into it, keep going back into it like a crack addict.
我知道我离开家的时间有限，但我无法阻止自己。我想把那个白日梦做完。我会不断地回到那个梦里，像瘾君子一样不断地回到那里。
Keep going back to that crackpipe. Keep going back to the cigarette, whatever it is. And the reason was because I wanted to keep this good feeling going, this nice feeling in my head.
不断地回到那根烟管旁。又回去抽那根烟，不管它是什么。原因是因为我想让这种美好的感觉延续下去，我脑海中这种美妙的感觉。
I didn't want it to go away. So, I kept thinking, I kept going into fantasy because those fantasies fueled that really good feeling. So this is why the tra traditional advice for procrastination and daydreaming never worked for me.
我不想让它消失。所以，我一直在想，我不断陷入幻想因为那些幻想助长了那种非常美好的感觉。所以这就是为什么传统的建议对于拖延症和做白日梦对我从来都不管用。
It said if you start daydreaming just put your attention onto something else. Go for a walk or do homework or something. It never got rid of that feeling because that feeling was still there.
它说如果你开始做白日梦就把你的注意力转移到别的事情上。去散散步或者做做作业什么的。那种感觉从未消失因为那种感觉依然存在。
So all I was doing was simply suppressing that Okay. So daydreaming is that the thought is producing a nice feeling inside of you. How do you actually overcome this? How did I overcome this?
所以我所做的只是简单地压抑那种感觉。好的。所以白日梦就是那种想法正在产生一种美好的感觉在你内心。你究竟如何克服这一点？我是如何克服这一点的？
So like I said, meditation was a huge way, but basically it was developing the skill of what I call emotional mastery. So emotional mastery is essentially this skill. You sit there, you're in the shower, let's say, and you notice yourself getting lost in these thoughts.
所以就像我说的，冥想是一个重要的途径，但基本上，它培养的是一种技能，我称之为情绪掌控。所以情绪掌控本质上就是这种技能。你坐在那里，你在洗澡，比如说，你注意到自己陷入这些思绪中。
You're imagining yourself having a conversation with someone and it's feeling good. Your head's feeling light. Your ego is feeling, you know, validated. But emotional mastery is your ability to notice okay in this moment I am reacting to this very pleasant feeling and you notice that and you let the feeling be there without reacting to it.
你在想象自己与某人交谈而且感觉很好。你的头脑感觉轻飘飘的。你的自尊心感觉，你知道，得到了认可。但情绪掌控力在于你能够觉察到，好吧在这一刻我正在对这种非常愉悦的感觉做出反应而你觉察到了这一点然后你让这种感觉存在，而不对它做出反应。
So I'll give you a very brief analogy of what this kind of feels like. I learned this analogy from my friend Tushar. Me and him we have this program called Focus Rewire where we help students beat procrastination, develop emotional mastery just for some context.
所以我给你一个非常简短的类比来说明这大概是什么感觉。我从我的朋友图沙尔那里学到了这个类比。我和他有一个叫“专注重塑”的项目我们帮助学生克服拖延症，培养情绪掌控力，这只是背景介绍。
So, we've both helped a ton of students actually break their emotional patterns. And one of the biggest things he's he's taught me, one of the biggest analogies is the analogy of the homeless guy.
所以，我们都帮助了大量学生真正打破了他们的情绪模式。而他教给我的最重要的事情之一，最重要的类比之一就是流浪汉的类比。
So, basically, imagine a homeless guy and he asks you for money. He's like, "Hey, bro, can I have some money?" And you give him money. Day two, you come back and you see the homeless guy again and he recognizes you.
所以，基本上，想象一个无家可归的人，他向你讨钱。他说：“嘿，兄弟，能给我点钱吗？”然后你给了他钱。第二天，你回来，又看到了那个无家可归的人而且他认出了你。
He's like, "Hey, man. Can I have some money again?" And you want him to go away. So, you're like, "Yeah, bro. Take the money. Take the money." You give him money, but by day three, you've given him money two days in a row.
他说：“嘿，兄弟。能再给我点钱吗？”而你想让他走开。所以，你说：“好的，兄弟。把钱拿着。把钱拿着。你给了他钱，但到了第三天，你已经连续两天给他钱了。
He reme he remembers you. Now he starts harassing you. He's like, "Bro, give me the money. I got to buy a coffee now. Where where are you? You're late. Give me the money, bro." So the homeless guy is an analogy for your thoughts.
他记——他记得你。现在他开始骚扰你了。他说：“兄弟，把钱给我。我现在得买杯咖啡。你在哪儿，你在哪儿？你迟到了。把钱给我，兄弟。所以那个流浪汉是对你思想的比喻。
Because your thoughts are like the homeless guy. You get that one thought of the conversation you had with that girl in your class and then you're like, "Oh, I could have said this thing differently."
因为你的思绪就像那个流浪汉。你会想起和班上那个女生对话中的某一个念头然后你就会想，“哦，我本来可以换种说法。”
And you start fantasizing like, "Oh, I could have said this and she would have responded like this and she would have laughed and you're you're reacting to the homeless guy. You're giving the homeless guy money."
然后你开始幻想，比如，“哦，我本来可以这样说她就会那样回应她就会笑而你就是在对那个流浪汉做出反应。你在给那个无家可归的人钱。
Like, yes, thoughts keep multiplying, keep going. But if you just see those thoughts as someone trying to bother you and you don't feed him, you don't give him money, you let those thoughts be there, you let that feeling be there, then what starts to happen is he stops bothering you and he goes away.
就像，是的，念头不断倍增，不断涌现。但如果你只是把这些念头看作是一个想打扰你的人而你不去喂养他，你不给他钱，你让那些念头留在那里，你让那种感受留在那里，那么开始发生的是他不再打扰你然后他就离开了。
Now that's the strategy that's to overcome it. But in terms of like practically what can you do when you're in the shower and your thoughts start bothering you and you you know you feel yourself getting pulled to relive the fantasy, what can you do?
这就是克服它的策略。但就实际而言，你能做些什么当你在洗澡的时候你的思绪开始困扰你你知道你感觉到自己被拉回去重温那个幻想，你能做什么？
Well, that's the whole skill of emotional mastery. And the biggest thing that I can I can tell you that can help you develop emotional mastery is meditation. So, this helped me a lot.
嗯，这就是情绪掌控的全部技巧。我能告诉你的最重要的事情能帮助你培养情绪掌控力的就是冥想。所以，这对我帮助很大。
Like I said, 1,500 hours. It changed my life. So, meditation, if you want a free meditation, the one that one of the ones that I do, check out the first link below in my free community.
就像我说的，1500个小时。它改变了我的人生。所以，冥想，如果你想要一个免费的冥想，我所做的其中一个，看看我免费社区下方的第一个链接。
There's a free meditation there. Meditation is essentially the act or the skill of you're sitting there your thoughts start to pull you away. For example, you sit down and you start to daydream.
那里有一个免费的冥想。冥想本质上是一种行为或者说是一种技能，你坐在那里你的思绪开始把你拉走。例如，你坐下来，开始做白日梦。
Instead of following that trail of thoughts, instead of giving that homeless guy money and getting lost in your thoughts, instead you notice those thoughts and you bring your attention back to some kind of object.
与其跟随那一连串的思绪，与其给那个流浪汉钱并迷失在你的思绪中，不如你注意到那些思绪然后把你的注意力带回到某种对象上。
So, for the meditation I have below, it's it's your breath. You bring your attention I don't know why I'm drawing the breath. You bring your attention back to your breath and that indirectly kind of cuts the reaction.
所以，下面我要做的冥想，就是你的呼吸。你把注意力，我也不知道我为什么在画呼吸。你把注意力带回到你的呼吸上而这间接地切断了那个反应。
You stop feeding those thoughts. You stop feeding that daydreaming. So you repeat that many many days and the the daydream starts to lose power. This is one of the ways. So let me tell you how I experience daydreaming now.
你停止喂养那些念头。你停止喂养那种白日梦。于是你重复那样很多很多天然后白日梦开始失去力量。这是其中一种方式。所以让我告诉你，我现在是如何体验白日梦的。
So this is how I used to daydream. I would get on the bus and then I would remember this girl that I had a crush on and then I would just start fantasizing about her for like an hour on the bus.
这就是我过去做白日梦的方式。我会坐上公交车，然后我会想起这个女孩我曾经暗恋过的然后我就会开始幻想关于她的事，在公交车上幻想大概一个小时。
Like we would do this, we would go on this adventure, we would do this. It would be so good. I'd be I'd waste an hour in daydream. Zero zero progress in anything. It's completely unproductive.
比如我们会做这个，我们会去经历这场冒险，我们会做这个。那该有多好。我会在幻想中浪费一个小时。任何事情都零进展。这完全没有成效。
Now, here's what happens. Let's say I'm in the shower and I remember I messed up on something and I want to relive it. Then I get a thought like, "Oh, I could have said this." But then pretty much immediately now or really really fast, a lot faster, a lot faster than it used to be, I see the thought happening.
现在，事情是这样的。比如说我正在洗澡然后想起某件事我搞砸了我想重新经历一遍。然后我会有个念头，像“哦，我当时本可以这么说。”但紧接着，几乎是立刻，或者说非常非常快，快得多，比以前快得多，我看到那个念头在发生。
I see like the homeless guy trying to take my money. I see myself getting pulled into the thought into the feeling. I notice it and I stop feeding it and the daydream dies pretty fast.
我好像看到那个流浪汉想抢我的钱。我看到自己被拉进这个想法里，拉进这种感觉里。我注意到它，然后我不再给它喂食，这个白日梦很快就消亡了。
You know, I daydream for maybe 10 seconds and then I go back through my life and then I might get another daydreamy thought but it goes away. So those thoughts still come to bother me because they're so deeply ingrained into my mind.
你知道，我可能会做大约10秒钟的白日梦然后我会回顾我的人生然后我可能又会有另一个白日梦般的想法，但它会消失。所以那些想法仍然会来困扰我因为它们在我的脑海中如此根深蒂固。
But now they're a lot shorter lived and they're a lot weaker. I don't get lost in daydreams for 20 minutes, 10 minutes anymore. Very rarely. On occasion I might if I'm having a really negative experience and I just want to escape.
但现在它们持续的时间短多了，也弱多了。我不会在白日梦中迷失20分钟，现在连10分钟也不会了。很少会这样。偶尔我可能会，如果我正在经历一段非常消极的体验而我只想逃避。
My mind just wants to escape and I'm not used to this experience. Something a really intense reaction is coming up. Yeah, I might get lost in daydream for some time. But I would say like in 90 90% of scenarios when I used to get lost, it doesn't happen anymore.
我的思绪只想逃离我不习惯这种体验。某种非常强烈的反应即将出现。是的，我可能会在白日梦中迷失一段时间。但我会说，在90%的情况下当我过去常常迷失方向时，这种情况不再发生了。
So that's it. That's my experience of daydreaming. Let me know if this video helped you. Let me know if any of my experiences resonated with you. And yeah, free community below if you want to develop emotional mastery.
就是这样。这就是我关于做白日梦的经历。如果这个视频对你有帮助，请告诉我。如果我的任何经历让你产生共鸣，请告诉我。对了，下方有免费社区如果你想培养情绪掌控力的话。
Okay, get out of here. Goodbye.
好了，滚出去吧。再见。
